Monies and Random Checks are Not Family✔
Family.
What truly defines a family?
Is it merely the presence of a mother, father, and siblings?
As a child, I watched movies where a family was described as a setting, where the mother, father, and siblings were present. I didn’t have a family, if that was the template I was sticking to.
Growing up in Korcho, I lived with my aunts and cousins, while my parents were absent. While my cousins found solace in their mothers, my siblings and I had no one to turn to for parental comfort. My siblings and I had no mother or father around.
My dad came home about every two to three years and went back to the States. Despite taken good care of by my father’s siblings, the absence of maternal and paternal love was palpable. Throughout elementary, high school, and even the initial years of tertiary education, their presence was scarce.
Amidst this absence, I yearned for a family so intensely that tears and prayers became my daily ritual. With time, I unknowingly learned to navigate life’s challenges without them, how to live and survive without them. Or, let’s say, I created my own family.
My own family consisted of my siblings, “selected” cousins, supportive friends, and my boyfriend. They became my pillars of strength, offering unwavering support and a shoulder to lean on during moments of despair.
Even with my parents’ eventual return, reintegrating into their lives feels foreign. I had grown accustomed to independence and had forged deep connections with my chosen family. While I hold immense respect and reverence for my parents, the prospect of reverting to our familial dynamic feels unfamiliar.
Why? Because, I have already created my family — my personal sanctuary.
Reflecting on my journey, I am determined not to repeat the cycle with my future children. My prayer is to be a present parent, one who prioritizes quality time over quantity. I vow to be there for my children, ensuring they never feel the absence that I once did. Why? So that, they do not replace me with others.
Now, tell me.
Did I make the right choice by creating my own family?
